he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
