hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
