I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
