Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
