At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
