pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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