I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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