hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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