Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
