She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
