we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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