you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
