Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
