question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
