do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
