can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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