i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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