It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
