is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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