Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
