You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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