as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
