apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
