There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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