He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
