i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
