My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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