oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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