You made me cry and you don't even care
he thought i was a dude.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
