Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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