i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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