I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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