When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
