Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
