Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
