Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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