So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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