after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Randomize
