Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
