K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
