he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Randomize
