Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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