Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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