Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
