it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
