I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
