You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
