Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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