You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
