Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
